matthew

bayley_asher @ 2007-04-27T17:03:00

2007-04-28T00:07:45Z

if something does not make sense, You are not trying hard enough to understand it.

just because something makes sense does not mean it is Right.

if You know You are Right and You can not see any other reason for thinking otherwise, that is a very good sign that You are mistaken.

I may have found God.

2007-04-19T00:15:39Z

Or more accurately, the spirit that western civilization commonly refers to as "God". AKA Elohim, Allah, Enlightenment, etc.

I was going to write an entry here but realized there's no way it could be done as there are way too many communication barriers between us when we talk face to face already without removing body language, facial expressions, vocal cadence, intonation, etc. If you want to talk about this, please call me and we'll hang out, especially if you're an open-minded atheistic/agnostic, I'd love to hear what YOU have to say on the subject. If you have already found God, then I'm very happy for you, and I'm a little wary of talking to you simply because I wouldn't want to say anything to you that would distance you from Himherthemusit to the slightest degree, but I'd love to hear from you all the same. 949-244-8902.

Another word for talented?

2007-01-30T07:44:06Z

See here's the deal. The word gift/gifted implies that one's predisposition to excellence in a certain field was given to them. Presumably by God. Likewise, the English word talent/talented, I am assuming stems from the parable Jesus told at least a millenium before the word crept into English. The parable was that a master gave three slaves each a different number of "talents", "talents" being a form of currency. He came back later to see how they had invested their talents. Two of the slaves had invested and doubled their money, the third had simply buried it in the ground, wasting it. It's a nice parable with a spiritual as well as a practical significance, etc. My point is: both of these words imply God bestowed something upon you. If one were an atheist, what English word could be used? Aptitude just means one is suited for something and that could very well be developed rather than innate. Skill/skilled is the same way. Yes, I'm an intense linguistics nerd, but who cares. Responses?

December 25th, 2006.

2006-12-25T11:42:18Z

James Brown R.I.P. Don't really know what to say. It's really weird that he's dead. Granted he was 73, but still.

Turns out I'm not very creative.

2006-12-13T22:23:38Z

I feel much more akin to a moderately talented, opinionated parrot.

People are delusional.

2006-12-11T08:00:10Z

Polyamory is to polygamy/swinging/etc what intelligent design is to creationism.

The same goddamn thing. People need to stop trying to repackage fucking multiple people as a healthy family activity simply because they talk about it openly rather than cheating. I really don't care what people do, but they really need to stop deluding themselves.

True, humans are not cut out to be monogamous creatures for their whole lives. It's possible, but if one looks at popular sexual statistics, divorce rates, history, even the Bible, it's clear that humans have wandering eyes and act on it constantly, despite what religious folks will have you believe. Personally I think that if in order to keep someone from doing something they have to be convinced that they will burn for eternity and that still doesn't work, then obviously we are not cut out for monogamy.

Despite this, humans are also jealous creatures. They aren't adapted to sharing their long-term mates, they just aren't. No amount of discussion of the topic, or convincing of the excluded party that despite not being enough sexually/romantically, they are still number one, is going to keep said excluded party from feelings of jealously/inadequacy/general self-esteem issues. If you love someone, don't hurt them in such a manner. Period.

Lastly. If you have kids, don't mess them up with that sort of shit. Despite the almost non-existence of 1M1F parental structure, this is still the most secure/successful unit with which to raise a child. Nothing against gay couples; yes, love is the most important thing, and a household with two loving gay parents is probably psychologically much better for a kid than two hating, yelling, cheating straight parents, though the fact of the matter is in a society where two sexes exist, it's best for a kid to have a good role model on each side of that spectrum. Point is, Mom, Dad, and Mom's fuck buddy and Dad's girlfriend Muffy is confusing and painful for a child and they shouldn't have to go through that.

The end.

I realize the tone of this rant is "I know everything about everything". I realize that tends to be the tone of most of my rants, even when attempting to explain how knowledge of anything is completely subjective and circumstantial. I don't know why this is, because mentally I'm well aware I do not and never will know everything, as the more you know, the more you don't know. My own self-importance just tricks me into thinking that and I usually forget to catch myself on it. Apologies.

Reading over this post-script I realize even it was affected with said tone. WTF mate.

For those of you not familiar with Vida Guerra, click the LJ cut.

2006-12-07T08:54:48Z

I would like to point out something. Vida Guerra is famous because she has a nice ass. Yes. Now, not saying there's anything right or wrong about this, but she has a rabid fanbase. She goes places and has signings. I wonder what she thinks while she signs tshirts. "Wow I'll bet they respect me as a person." "Do they like me because of my many talents?"

I dunno. See the difference between her and any random model for the glorified wank rags posing as men's magazines, or even a pornstar for that matter, is that those women are talentlessly famous because of their whole package. Vida is known solely for her butt. The flesh on her rear-end, comprised of the ideal combination of fat and muscle tone. That's it. And it's not comparable to J-Lo, who has an equally (if not larger) rear end, because J-Lo is both an actress and a pop diva. Not saying she's good at either, but she is those first, and she just so happens to have a huge butt second.

Again. Vida. Solely for her butt. Nothing else. I felt kind of bad for her because honestly, when she looks back in twenty years, what is she gonna remember? The glory days when she used to do calisthenics and was therefore famous? And then how when she stopped no one gave the tiniest shit about her?

Then I stumbled across a set of photos apparently stolen from her camera phone, where she's basically just taken 30-40 photos of herself, naked. Mostly of her butt. She seemed to be just as enamored with it, if not more so, than everyone else. Which is really odd. Let's try and put this in context. Or rather, take it out of context to see the ludicrousness of the situation. Imagine if you really liked the way your right leg looked, so you took 50 pictures of it on your cell phone for your own personal viewing pleasure. You got famous only because of that leg, and you signed autographs while mouthbreathing fanboys gawked at it.

That's all I'm sayin'. Really though, that thing is nice. Don't mistake me for a hater. And if she's dumb enough to be that obsessed with her own body parts that she feels the need to admire and documentarize them in her free time, when she already does it for a living, I shouldn't feel bad that she's being marginalized as a human being. Obviously she's a human being of marginal value to begin with.

bayley_asher @ 2006-10-27T13:44:00

2006-10-27T20:45:27Z

bayley_asher @ 2006-10-25T10:53:00

2006-10-25T18:07:21Z

Okay seriously folks. Here's the deal. Prop 86 is a dirty piece of poo and everyone should by all means vote against it. Unless the thought of paying an extra 3 bucks a pack makes your panties wet, then by all means go for it. However, this ad is disgusting. The tactic in American politics of "OH BUT THINK OF THE CHILDREN" has got to fucking stop. I read the pamphlet and blah blah 40% of new taxes are supposed to go to education and this bill has a loophole. How about we confront the real issue here. This proposition shouldn't exist because it plays on the self-righteous non-smokers' hatred for smokers and basically punishes them with a 50% price boost per pack and then says "well it'll motivate people to quit smoking". Bitch no it won't it'll just make them poor. And the even stronger reason why it shouldn't exist is because 90% of the money goes to special interest groups who funded the proposition in the first place. Now that's sleazy. Let's use the legislative process and lobbying power to get self-righteous assholes to pass a bill to put money straight into their pockets. Yyyyeah that's great. I love our government don't you.

I guess after all that, yeah, the fact that $800 million should be going to the kids is a good point. But seriously, the reason it's on there is because using the face of a 6-year-old does seem to be the best way to rile up the middle class mommies and daddies about something. Because before that they were thinking "Yeah! You know what?! We should be putting extra taxes on those fuckin smoky smoking smokers! Because when I'm at work...I mean...when I'm at a park....or...when I'm...uh....when I'm....When I'm 30 feet away from a public building in the middle of the sidewalk, sometimes I have to catch a whiff of that shit and you know what? I could be getting 2nd hand smoke! Fuuuuuck me." Because that's what this country is about. Being indignant about shit that doesn't matter. Oh and money.

I don't smoke.

bayley_asher @ 2006-10-18T19:55:00

2006-10-19T03:00:57Z

I've never mastered the correct way to handle writing instruments. I grip them for dear life and an hour and three-quarters of constant scrawl has led me to question whether I possibly have arthritis in my left hand. The doctor insisted knuckle cracking was simple the popping of nitrogen bubbles and in no way led to arthritis, but my hands hurt always, mainly the one with which I fret. I fear for it. I don't think I've ever hated Plato more. That fucker was a self-serving classist shit, and I pray I never have to write about him again. My iPod's dead for good, and I don't know whether or not I'll be able to have it replaced. I lack funds and jobs to purchase a new one; half the music I love and listen to is stolen off the internet, unburned and in mp3 format. Can annnnnybody find meeeee somebody tooooo love.

So a few months ago I quit Barnes and Noble.

2006-10-11T01:04:58Z

And in that time I have begun dreaming again. I wake every morning with a dream in my head which is so amazing I can't begin to explain it, because in the past two years I don't think I've dreamed at all. I'm not sure what the combination is exactly, but I know there is a direct correllation between working a soul-crushing retail job and not being able to dream.

Another side effect of not working is me not having any money. I make 100 bucks a week cleaning the house, which is some money but it doesn't seem to go very far after things like gas and food. So the side of THAT is me cutting things out of the budget. Namely music. Because let's be honest, that shit is free. I kind of feel guilty, but I feel more guilty towards myself when I find myself not able to do things because I paid exorbitant rates for something that comes gratis. So the last record I bought was M.Ward's new one, and before that, Dylan's new one. Which should illustrate how important something has to be in my world for me to buy it. Which leads us to...

Today I bought the Cold War Kids album. And it's really good. It makes me feel warm inside, that feeling you get when something is really legitimate, new, original, influenced by all the right people, executed perfectly, you can never tell where the song's going before it goes there, the voice is very distinctive, etc. All those things hype bands should have but never do. So check it out by any means. Preferably by purchasing it, because they really are legit and because they're good dudes. Dave and I got to see them play at Voyagers something like two years ago which I'm really stoked on, because in time they'll be playing arenas, without a doubt.

P.S. In one of the songs he says "I gave my check to tax deductible charity organization." If you get that, then I love you even more.

myspace.com/coldwarkids

Ramblings 10.07.06: Outrage Overload

2006-10-07T23:20:37Z

- The voting machines are owned by a company that donates heavily to the Bush administration
- The voting machines have been shown to be easily hacked, demonstrated on well-distributed videos
- We can't change these things without our legislative representatives doing something about it; they are helped into power by such machines and   are not about to do anything about it
- Iraq was invaded for WMD's that were not in a proven state of existence while N. Korea broadcasted its factual nuclear program
- No nukes were found in Iraq, though Halliburton set up shop immediately
- Iran is being proposed as the next target, being sold (like Iraq) as having a nuclear potential
- Simultaneously N. Korea (no oilfields) announces its plans to test nukes. Mild alarm, no real reaction.
- Every week, a new memeber of Congress is indicted for something.
- Every week, a new pastor or priest or rich conservative is revealed to be a pederast
- Mark Foley, the leader of a committee who goes after sexual predators of children turns out to be a sexual predator of children
- Hastert, who knew about it, along with the rest of his party, passes it off, blows it off, claims he's clean and refuses to resign; points the finger at Democrats for knowing also and waiting for an opportune time to release the info
- Dems knew also, yet waited for an opportune time (right before elections) to release the info
- Rather than clean house of disgusting political figures, the idea of abandoning the congressional page system is proposed, apparently since we have to have politicians, we don't have to have pages, but we need to protect young people from sexual predators (politicians). Lord knows we can't expect politicians to keep their hands off young boys
- Democrats bring up George Allin ( southern senator, Republican) has Jewish blood two generations back, hoping racist southern Republicans will vote against him. I'll say that again: Dems try to use racism as a negative political trump card.
- No politicians are ever outraged/remorseful by crimes leaked, only that the media leaked sensitive information; is consideration of the free press as a treacherous institution justified?
- Proposition 89 will fail
- No solution to illegal immigration; a large percentage remain Mexican nationalists while weighing heavily on the system; however they are humans with starving familes and few options; induction of Spanish as U.S. second language; U.S. as a nation has no unifying factors
       A) Extreme selfishness, ladder-climbing, dog-eat-dog mentality; no sense of community; fear that every stranger is out to hurt you
       B) No common unifying language
       C) No common unifying creed/religion
       D) No common racial similarities
       E) No common unifying enemies (terrorist was a nice try, but ultimately pathetic)

We are not United, we are not a union. We are making no effort to sustain ourselves. We are overextending our military into 53 separate countries. There is no funding backing this up. Deficit spending.

Very few believe in our system, and even less participate. We consider our leaders AWOL; we are however, opiatized by television and religion and the dream of getting rich ourselves (he who dies with the most toys wins); lack of free press, condemnation/marginalization of actual free press (bloggers/independent, non-Clear Channel/Murdochian news sources); lack of true inspirational figureheads (No Martin Luther Kings, not even an Abbie Hoffman or a John Lennon)

- Bratz dolls/movies/music/books turning 7-year olds into strippers whose main airhead goal in life is fashion and boy-chasing
- T.V./Inept dysfunctional school system actively undermining critical thought processes so when an issue comes up such as the Foley/Page scandal, people will accept one or the other side offered by pundits (bought by partisan interests) and not question why the whole scenario fucking sucks
- Result is most people justifiably not paying attention either because it is too depressing or because it's "boring" (trained not to find things that affect their basic freedoms interesting), thus perpetuating the problem. They cannot be blamed however, because when one can't change things (and we can't), and the degradation of the quality of life is gradual enough that the short term memory of the masses can't remember what they're being screwed out of, everyone will remain on their couches until the times comes when they're not allowed to get up off of them with the exception of:
         A) Eating (when regulated
         B) Sleeping (When regulated, dreams controlled, of course)
         C) Fucking (under supervision of passion monitors, making sure all sex is casual and meaningless and no one developing something meaningful
         D) Working at a meaningless menial job

This is all if we don't first die from:

1) A lack of oil and alternative energy (I still haven't figured out why this isn't really being developed; completely stupidity?); we lose means of heating, transportation, fuel for appliances we are so overdependent on (because we are trained to be helpless and useless)
2) Global warming resulting in massive floods of populated areas due to melting of polar icecaps, heat unlivable by humans

I apologize for taking up so much space with psychotic paranoid ranting. However, I feel most of it is justified, and the rest is the result of my being driven moderately insane by paying too much attention to the horrible people that govern. I do my best to also pretend nothing is going on, because honestly, focusing on it is pointless and only depresses/annoys myself and those who have to deal with me talking. I do however challenge anyone to keep a tally of how many politicians toting moral values/clergymen are arrested/indicted on charges of child molestation. It's insane.

Meg I checked my horoscope today just for you. It read: "You're filled with both extraordinary intellect and naive incompetence. Who knows which is which? And who cares? The important thing is that you make a difference." I don't know how intellectual I'm really being, or how much of a difference I make (close to zero), I just found it humorous.

Kids I recorded a song and I'd dig it if you listened to it.

2006-09-26T08:08:08Z

It's a Dylan song I love that I recorded in an unusual manner and I'm fairly proud of how it came out. I'd be delighted to have 3 1/2 minutes of your time and/or any manner of feedback. You can either hear it by going to my myspace (myspace.com/bmasher), because it's the background music there, or by going to my new musicspace which is myspace.com/matthewdavidsmith. I've pretty much decided to go by my real name from here on out, so I think that's gonna be it. Also, there are a couple other songs on there I recorded with the kids from Orange late one night at In N Out.

Thanks, I love you.
Matthew

After spending the evening watching live Bright Eyes footage...

2006-09-16T08:01:47Z

I'm come to the conclusion that Conor is not the "Dylan" of our generation. Conor is the martyr of our generation. He is constantly focused on everything that is truly horrible about our world, and his way of making a difference is by exposing it, by writing really, really fucking good songs. However, to do this, he has to dwell in the terrible side of the world, and it seems as though he absorbs it all like a sponge. I fear the man is driving himself completely crazy. He screams so loud because the world needs to hear it, and most of the time people just focus on his appearance, or his depression, and not the things he tries to get across that are likely causing his depression. He seems to take every injustice in the world so personally. Watching him drink himself stupid and scream from his soapbox of a stage, even when it seems like no one is listening to what he's saying is really sad. I hate to say it, but he is a martyr, and at times even a Christ-figure.

So I think it can largely be chaulked up to my unhealthy obsession with Freaks & Geeks:

2006-09-11T09:04:25Z

But I have developed a real preoccupation with 70's arena rock. The majority of my playlist recently has been Van Halen, Styx, Journey, Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, and The Who. And a loooot of the Grateful Dead. Mixed in with the occasional spin of "Bringing Down the Horse" and that new Justin Timberlake album. Bahaha. That shit is great. Yeah I don't know when, but I totally lost any hipster cred I ever had. But serious, 70's rock makes you feel GOOD. And I kinda dig that feeling.

EDIT: By the way, Happy 9/11. I don't know why this seems to be being made into an annually publicized thing that is almost holiday status. It's a dire tragedy, not only that 3,000 lives were lost, but that we allowed the government to manipulate our fear to the extent that we gave up all our rights, and continue to do so. I think we should be recognizing that, and doing our best to get our liberties back. Not allowing some old rich white men to propagandize an event they may or may not have had a hand in so that they can have more leeway in doing whatever they fuck they want. Just something to think about.

Some pics.

2006-09-09T12:32:16Z

The last night of street fair; this guy could stack cups like a motherfucker.

Ryan stuck a toothpick in a salt shaker, then stuck two forks together and stuck a toothpick through them and balanced them on one side, and then did the same on the other. None of those forks are touching the table. THE TIPS OF TOOTHPICKS are holding those up. Surrrious. What with the cups and now this, Orange holds some serious balancing talent.

Meg and Beef are kinda cute. Even though Beef is totally passed out.

And I am a gay. That's right, A gay.

It's my birthday, bitches!

2006-09-04T22:03:46Z

Yep.

bayley_asher @ 2006-08-28T18:07:00

2006-08-29T01:08:56Z

I was sitting in a Starbucks in Eugene, and these two girls were having the most intense conversation ever. So naturally, I pretended to be txting and captured their image forever. The one on the right is kinda cute.

Summer 2006 was a success.

2006-08-28T07:50:05Z

Made progress with music, jammed with a lot of good people, including playing harp onstage for a group covering Dylan, as well as dueting with Sergio on Against Me! songs. Didn't fall in love, but I think it'll be okay. Some friendships kind of faded, but I found a group of kids I love. Became addicted to the Orange Circle. Smoked too many cigarettes; I should probably stop that soon. Went to the Grand Canyon with the family. Sister got married. Went to Oregon. Hung out with Jordan and floated 3 miles downriver on a raft. Fell hopelessly in love with Oregon. Hung out with the Croco's. Good jams with Becky and Traci, talks with Trudi. Fell in love with St Vincent Du Paul's (they sell classic novels for 1 dollar). Became addicted to Freaks and Geeks; fell in love with Linda Cardellini. Hung out at Earl's a lot. Met a shitload of new people. Developed an apocalypse complex via An Inconvenient Truth, and am now doing my best to live as much in the moment as possible. Got a little friendlier with God; thanks Johnny Cash. FINALLY quit Barnes and Noble. Saw Snakes on a Plane. Twice. Organized a mass pilgrimage to see Snakes On A Plane, and people came. Score. The summer even had a discernible soundtrack album, which was Jacob and The Wallflower's "Bringing Down The Horse". I love that Hammond, yes I do, yes I do.

I welcome school, though I could have used maybe one more week or two. But overall summer was just as beautiful as I hoped it would be, if not better. A vast, vast improvement over the stagnant, miserable wasteland that was summer 2005. I love you, kids.

Birthday is on September 4th.

2006-08-27T17:43:28Z

I need Freaks & Geeks.

Operation Snakes On A Plane was a success.

2006-08-25T06:56:34Z

We were pretty much the only people in the theatre, but it was way fun. I think there were ten of us altogether. Watch out for Meg's cigarettes; those things will knock you flat on your ass. Thanks to everybody that came, I love you.

Cred to David Barba for the graphic.

2006-08-23T08:35:48Z

Regression into depression.

2006-08-18T12:09:25Z

There's only so much celibacy one man can take.

I simply do not have any game. This is truth, this is depressing. It doesn't matter how much weight I lose, or how good of songs I write, or how well I sing them, or how well I dress. The fact of the matter is that low self-esteem is a deal breaker, plain and simple. And I'm not a good enough actor, nor do I embrace strongly enough the belief that "sometimes you just have to fake it in order to to jumpstart yourself" to come across as strong confident alpha male. I also have conflicting philosophies regarding the dating subject. In order to attempt the jumpstart thing, I'll try the "don't worry about any particular one person too much, go wide. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't. As many as possible." However, before I pursue anything to legitimate extents I'll get hung up with a one-itis, and feel guilty pursuing anyone else. As one-itis's always go, nothing happens. I remain with nothin'.

/end self-pity/analysis/emo-ness

In other news, David had a bit of a party last night. In many ways, it was like a kegger, but smaller. Just like we had a keg, but smaller. Just like Dave did a kegstand, on the small keg.

As always, I played music. What else would I do?

Everyone ended up puking their guts out. We woke later and went to Chipotle.

I went to the Gypsy Den tonite and Sergio and I collaborated. On my set, he joined me onstage with his vocals and guitar and we 70s'd the mic singin' "Sink Florida Sink". Good reception. Then on his set we did "Those Anarcho Punx Are Mysterious". For that one, we found this guy named Dan who played the bucket and he played with us. Yeah yeah so we covered two Against Me! songs back to back. It's pretty much the main place where our tastes overlap, soooo deal.

Snakes On A Plane was alright.

bayley_asher @ 2006-08-13T23:34:00

2006-08-14T06:34:40Z

Freaks and Geeks is the best TV show ever. It makes me love life more.

Musings.

2006-08-10T00:43:41Z

Why is there a fire lane in the swimming pool parking lot?

Is there a fire lane in the fire station parking lot?

And a little more seriously: Why can't we ever meet one person who won't disappoint us? Knowing that everyone you meet and come to love will eventually let you down, is....well. Disappointing. Disillusioning with the whole....friend thing. Or. Love thing. Come to think of it, the only people who have never failed to live up to the standards they project, who no matter how much I can't stand them at times, are my parents. They've never lied to me, and maybe they aren't the richest people; maybe they don't have everything materially. But they've never let me down. My parents are the shit. Perhaps I've said bad things about them to you people over the years. Let it be known that these were either disagreements regarding religious orientations, or just me being a moron in my ignorant youth.

Resolution: 1) Spend more time with my parents.
2) Be less passive-aggressive and let people know when I think they're being jackasses. Two-faced people, generally manipulative people,
flakey people, etc.