matthew

if something does not make sense, You are not trying hard enough to understand it.

just because something makes sense does not mean it is Right.

if You know You are Right and You can not see any other reason for thinking otherwise, that is a very good sign that You are mistaken.

Or more accurately, the spirit that western civilization commonly refers to as "God". AKA Elohim, Allah, Enlightenment, etc. 

I was going to write an entry here but realized there's no way it could be done as there are way too many communication barriers between us when we talk face to face already without removing body language, facial expressions, vocal cadence, intonation, etc. If you want to talk about this, please call me and we'll hang out, especially if you're an open-minded atheistic/agnostic, I'd love to hear what YOU have to say on the subject. If you have already found God, then I'm very happy for you, and I'm a little wary of talking to you simply because I wouldn't want to say anything to you that would distance you from Himherthemusit to the slightest degree, but I'd love to hear from you all the same. 949-244-8902. 

See here's the deal. The word gift/gifted implies that one's predisposition to excellence in a certain field was given to them. Presumably by God. Likewise, the English word talent/talented, I am assuming stems from the parable Jesus told at least a millenium before the word crept into English. The parable was that a master gave three slaves each a different number of "talents", "talents" being a form of currency. He came back later to see how they had invested their talents. Two of the slaves had invested and doubled their money, the third had simply buried it in the ground, wasting it. It's a nice parable with a spiritual as well as a practical significance, etc. My point is: both of these words imply God bestowed something upon you. If one were an atheist, what English word could be used? Aptitude just means one is suited for something and that could very well be developed rather than innate. Skill/skilled is the same way. Yes, I'm an intense linguistics nerd, but who cares. Responses?

James Brown R.I.P. Don't really know what to say. It's really weird that he's dead. Granted he was 73, but still.

I feel much more akin to a moderately talented, opinionated parrot.

Polyamory is to polygamy/swinging/etc what intelligent design is to creationism.


The same goddamn thing.  People need to stop trying to repackage fucking multiple people as a healthy family activity simply because they talk about it openly rather than cheating. I really don't care what people do, but they really need to stop deluding themselves. 

True, humans are not cut out to be monogamous creatures for their whole lives. It's possible, but if one looks at popular sexual statistics, divorce rates, history, even the Bible, it's clear that humans have wandering eyes and act on it constantly, despite what religious folks will have you believe. Personally I think that if in order to keep someone from doing something they have to be convinced that they will burn for eternity and that still doesn't work, then obviously we are not cut out for monogamy. 

Despite this, humans are also jealous creatures. They aren't adapted to sharing their long-term mates, they just aren't. No amount of discussion of the topic, or convincing of the excluded party that despite not being enough sexually/romantically, they are still number one, is going to keep said excluded party from feelings of jealously/inadequacy/general self-esteem issues. If you love someone, don't hurt them in such a manner. Period. 

Lastly. If you have kids, don't mess them up with that sort of shit. Despite the almost non-existence of 1M1F parental structure, this is still the most secure/successful unit with which to raise a child. Nothing against gay couples; yes, love is the most important thing, and a household with two loving gay parents is probably psychologically much better for a kid than two hating, yelling, cheating straight parents, though the fact of the matter is in a society where two sexes exist, it's best for a kid to have a good role model on each side of that spectrum. Point is, Mom, Dad, and Mom's fuck buddy and Dad's girlfriend Muffy is confusing and painful for a child and they shouldn't have to go through that. 

The end.





I realize the tone of this rant is "I know everything about everything". I realize that tends to be the tone of most of my rants, even when attempting to explain how knowledge of anything is completely subjective and circumstantial. I don't know why this is, because mentally I'm well aware I do not and never will know everything, as the more you know, the more you don't know. My own self-importance just tricks me into thinking that and I usually forget to catch myself on it. Apologies. 

Reading over this post-script I realize even it was affected with said tone. WTF mate.

Okay seriously folks. Here's the deal. Prop 86 is a dirty piece of poo and everyone should by all means vote against it. Unless the thought of paying an extra 3 bucks a pack makes your panties wet, then by all means go for it. However, this ad is disgusting. The tactic in American politics of "OH BUT THINK OF THE CHILDREN" has got to fucking stop. I read the pamphlet and blah blah 40% of new taxes are supposed to go to education and this bill has a loophole. How about we confront the real issue here. This proposition shouldn't exist because it plays on the self-righteous non-smokers' hatred for smokers and basically punishes them with a 50% price boost per pack and then says "well it'll motivate people to quit smoking". Bitch no it won't it'll just make them poor. And the even stronger reason why it shouldn't exist is because 90% of the money goes to special interest groups who funded the proposition in the first place. Now that's sleazy. Let's use the legislative process and lobbying power to get self-righteous assholes to pass a bill to put money straight into their pockets. Yyyyeah that's great. I love our government don't you.

I guess after all that, yeah, the fact that $800 million should be going to the kids is a good point. But seriously, the reason it's on there is because using the face of a 6-year-old does seem to be the best way to rile up the middle class mommies and daddies about something. Because before that they were thinking "Yeah! You know what?! We should be putting extra taxes on those fuckin smoky smoking smokers! Because when I'm at work...I mean...when I'm at a park....or...when I'm...uh....when I'm....When I'm 30 feet away from a public building in the middle of the sidewalk, sometimes I have to catch a whiff of that shit and you know what? I could be getting 2nd hand smoke! Fuuuuuck me." Because that's what this country is about. Being indignant about shit that doesn't matter. Oh and money.



I don't smoke.

I've never mastered the correct way to handle writing instruments. I grip them for dear life and an hour and three-quarters of constant scrawl has led me to question whether I possibly have arthritis in my left hand. The doctor insisted knuckle cracking was simple the popping of nitrogen bubbles and in no way led to arthritis, but my hands hurt always, mainly the one with which I fret. I fear for it. I don't think I've ever hated Plato more. That fucker was a self-serving classist shit, and I pray I never have to write about him again. My iPod's dead for good, and I don't know whether or not I'll be able to have it replaced. I lack funds and jobs to purchase a new one; half the music I love and listen to is stolen off the internet, unburned and in mp3 format. Can annnnnybody find meeeee somebody tooooo love.

And in that time I have begun dreaming again. I wake every morning with a dream in my head which is so amazing I can't begin to explain it, because in the past two years I don't think I've dreamed at all. I'm not sure what the combination is exactly, but I know there is a direct correllation between working a soul-crushing retail job and not being able to dream.

Another side effect of not working is me not having any money. I make 100 bucks a week cleaning the house, which is some money but it doesn't seem to go very far after things like gas and food. So the side of THAT is me cutting things out of the budget. Namely music. Because let's be honest, that shit is free. I kind of feel guilty, but I feel more guilty towards myself when I find myself not able to do things because I paid exorbitant rates for something that comes gratis. So the last record I bought was M.Ward's new one, and before that, Dylan's new one. Which should illustrate how important something has to be in my world for me to buy it. Which leads us to...

Today I bought the Cold War Kids album. And it's really good. It makes me feel warm inside, that feeling you get when something is really legitimate, new, original, influenced by all the right people, executed perfectly, you can never tell where the song's going before it goes there, the voice is very distinctive, etc. All those things hype bands should have but never do. So check it out by any means. Preferably by purchasing it, because they really are legit and because they're good dudes. Dave and I got to see them play at Voyagers something like two years ago which I'm really stoked on, because in time they'll be playing arenas, without a doubt.

P.S. In one of the songs he says "I gave my check to tax deductible charity organization." If you get that, then I love you even more.


myspace.com/coldwarkids

Current Music: Cold War Kids - Robbers And Cowards

Current Music: Bach - assorted cello suites

It's a Dylan song I love that I recorded in an unusual manner and I'm fairly proud of how it came out. I'd be delighted to have 3 1/2 minutes of your time and/or any manner of feedback. You can either hear it by going to my myspace (myspace.com/bmasher), because it's the background music there, or by going to my new musicspace which is myspace.com/matthewdavidsmith. I've pretty much decided to go by my real name from here on out, so I think that's gonna be it. Also, there are a couple other songs on there I recorded with the kids from Orange late one night at In N Out.


Thanks, I love you.
Matthew

I'm come to the conclusion that Conor is not the "Dylan" of our generation. Conor is the martyr of our generation. He is constantly focused on everything that is truly horrible about our world, and his way of making a difference is by exposing it, by writing really, really fucking good songs. However, to do this, he has to dwell in the terrible side of the world, and it seems as though he absorbs it all like a sponge. I fear the man is driving himself completely crazy. He screams so loud because the world needs to hear it, and most of the time people just focus on his appearance, or his depression, and not the things he tries to get across that are likely causing his depression. He seems to take every injustice in the world so personally. Watching him drink himself stupid and scream from his soapbox of a stage, even when it seems like no one is listening to what he's saying is really sad. I hate to say it, but he is a martyr, and at times even a Christ-figure.

But I have developed a real preoccupation with 70's arena rock. The majority of my playlist recently has been Van Halen, Styx, Journey, Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, and The Who. And a loooot of the Grateful Dead. Mixed in with the occasional spin of "Bringing Down the Horse" and that new Justin Timberlake album. Bahaha. That shit is great. Yeah I don't know when, but I totally lost any hipster cred I ever had. But serious, 70's rock makes you feel GOOD. And I kinda dig that feeling.



EDIT: By the way, Happy 9/11. I don't know why this seems to be being made into an annually publicized thing that is almost holiday status. It's a dire tragedy, not only that 3,000 lives were lost, but that we allowed the government to manipulate our fear to the extent that we gave up all our rights, and continue to do so. I think we should be recognizing that, and doing our best to get our liberties back. Not allowing some old rich white men to propagandize an event they may or may not have had a hand in so that they can have more leeway in doing whatever they fuck they want. Just something to think about.

The last night of street fair; this guy could stack cups like a motherfucker.

Current Music: Wagon Wheel, by O.C.M.S. or Tom Gabel. Matters not.

Yep.

I was sitting in a Starbucks in Eugene, and these two girls were having the most intense conversation ever. So naturally, I pretended to be txting and captured their image forever. The one on the right is kinda cute.

Made progress with music, jammed with a lot of good people, including playing harp onstage for a group covering Dylan, as well as dueting with Sergio on Against Me! songs. Didn't fall in love, but I think it'll be okay. Some friendships kind of faded, but I found a group of kids I love. Became addicted to the Orange Circle. Smoked too many cigarettes; I should probably stop that soon. Went to the Grand Canyon with the family. Sister got married. Went to Oregon. Hung out with Jordan and floated 3 miles downriver on a raft. Fell hopelessly in love with Oregon. Hung out with the Croco's. Good jams with Becky and Traci, talks with Trudi. Fell in love with St Vincent Du Paul's (they sell classic novels for 1 dollar). Became addicted to Freaks and Geeks; fell in love with Linda Cardellini. Hung out at Earl's a lot. Met a shitload of new people. Developed an apocalypse complex via An Inconvenient Truth, and am now doing my best to live as much in the moment as possible. Got a little friendlier with God; thanks Johnny Cash. FINALLY quit Barnes and Noble. Saw Snakes on a Plane. Twice. Organized a mass pilgrimage to see Snakes On A Plane, and people came. Score. The summer even had a discernible soundtrack album, which was Jacob and The Wallflower's "Bringing Down The Horse". I love that Hammond, yes I do, yes I do. 


I welcome school, though I could have used maybe one more week or two. But overall summer was just as beautiful as I hoped it would be, if not better. A vast, vast improvement over the stagnant, miserable wasteland that was summer 2005. I love you, kids.

Current Music: Wallflowers - Bringing Down The Horse

I need Freaks & Geeks.